A woman's week at the gym

(a funny e-mail from my sister)
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get
into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased
a week of personal training at the local health club for
me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high
school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it
would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal
trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year
old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing
and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get
started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
chart my progress.

________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but
found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health
club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a
Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I
enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted
his aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time
he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it
out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a
heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it!
My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made
the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the
toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and
forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both
pectorals.
Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop.
I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams
bothered other club members. His voice is a little too
perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds,
he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put
me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent
a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by
elevators?
Christo told  me it would help me get in shape and enjoy
life.
He said some other crap too.

_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butthole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth
exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full
snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took
me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not
looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny
witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine --
which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that jerk Christo more than any human being has
ever hated any other human being in the history of the
world.
Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor.
If there was a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any
triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't
hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more
than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and
nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone
softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his
grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up
today.
Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine
with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even
use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services
today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.
I will also pray that next year my husband will
choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root
canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted
me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor
with diamonds!!!

am I the only one?

Sometimes I wonder ...am I the only one?

Am I the only one who:

-wonders why they fight their kids in sacrament meeting?
-wonders why they even came to church for the fight?
-is happy to drop said kids to primary/nursery?
-gets home from church and really needs a nap?
-naps too long but hurries to make dinner to not be late for the fireside?
-doesn't want to go to a fireside on sunday night?
-was soooo glad I went to said fireside.

-doesn't want to get out of bed monday morning.
-considers a shower "optional"?
-only wears make-up if it's "mandatory"?
-doesn't make my bed because really, what if I want a nap?
-wants ice cream 24/7?
-hates to do dishes?
-likes my kids music?
-blogs instead of getting my son out of his sister's "stuff"?
-loves 4 kids more than she ever knew was possible?
-(especially one of them ssshhh!!!)
(my kids all think they are the favorite)
-loves to serve left-overs for dinner?
-hates to eat left-overs for dinner?
-would rather skip dinner and have ice cream? (seriously, it's probably the same amount in calories right?)
-finds irony interesting?
-wonders at night what I could have done to be more productive that day?
-swears tomorrow will be different?
-tomorrow is never different?
-would rather watch iCarly than most other tv shows?
-loves a mischievous twinkle in little kids eyes?
-enjoys sarcastic banter with my teenagers?

Seems I could go on forever but I'll stop now....is it just me?

Tyler's Valentines Day

Since Tyler has been off-track he hasn't been gearing up for Valentines Day like they do when they are in school. They are doing a party when they return to school next week so I had to remember to buy Valentines before it was too late. Today, we go in the spirit of the day by filling out valentine cards for his neighborhood friends. We waited until it was dark to go drop them on the doorsteps of his friends. He had fun ringing the doorbell and Jared and Katelyn were nice to help him "ring and run". On the last house, in Tyler's excitement, he rang the bell and ran to hide when he soon realized that he forgot to leave the valentine on the step. His horrified look on his face was priceless :). We had to wait for the neighbor to close the door so we could start over. I hope they weren't too annoyed. Tyler loves his friends. He was so excited to do Valentines! He made the list all by himself. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends in our neighborhood. Thanks to all the mom's who are trying like I am to raise good kids. They are an amazing bunch of boys and girls.

Happy Valentines Day! I love all my friends too! So many of you get me through the days and weeks and you might not even know it. Life has been a little rough for me lately and I appreciate all the smiles and phone calls more than I could ever express. Thank you thank you with all my heart.

Valentines Day

I am lucky enough to be married to my best friend. I also am not a huge fan of Valentines Day, mostly because for many years I set myself up for disappointment. You ladies know what I mean, you envision a perfect evening where a limo driver hands you a mysterious note and whisks you away to a surprise location where you have a romantic evening (kid free) where your spouse has prepared a list of all the things he loves and appreciates about you with 10 dozen roses (ha ha) and and exquisite room where you make beautiful "music" and fall asleep in each others arms...blah...blah...blah.... Has this happened to you...I don't think so.

Reality is, we are moms. We can't even close the bathroom door. Let alone leave for an evening! Years of wisdom has taught me to lower the bar. Not in a bad way, just in a way so I focus on what is important. My husband.

Every day my sweetheart shows me he loves me by doing whatever he can to ease my burdens. He has been "called up" to take on my role many times. Like when I had liver surgery and was out of commission for many many months, or the pesky pulmonary embolism that nearly kicked my tail...unfortunately I could go on and on. But the point is, whenever I need him, he is there. And don't tell him I said this but he is better at my job than I am. There is never a doubt in my mind that he loves me. It is not exaggerating to say that every day out of the year he shows me in his own way how much he loves me. The trick was figuring out what that meant. He works hard for our family. I mean physically exhausting hard. He always puts my needs above his, and the needs of our kids. I have to be careful that I look out for him because he doesn't. He is the most unselfish person I know.

I am glad we have a day out of the year to celebrate love. I love Brent Barton. He is amazing!

So, maybe he's not a romantic.....I've realized that I don't need that. I need a partner and that is what I have in Brent. Someone to shoulder my burdens. Someone who cooks dinner when I don't feel like it, who will do laundry if I need, and takes an active role in car pool duties. All-in-all, I am I lucky woman.

I hope everyone has a great Valentines Day and is as luck as I feel.

A conversation

A conversation with my 2 year old......

Mom hears two year old crying in bed...
mom says, " what's wrong?"
2 year old says, " my hand slapped my face!"
mom says, "why did you hand slap your face?"
2 year old says, " I don't know"
....mom is speechless.
...good thing he's cute.

Ready for spring

Am I the only one dying to open the windows and air out the house, send the kids out to play in the back yard, tired of runny noses and cabin fever?!?!?!?!

What is it about the Spring that makes people feel good? Usually spring comes early for us because we head to St. George for a baseball tourny in Feb. This year is different. Jared is trying out for High School baseball and we have no St. George plans...(sigh)

....I will just start thinking warm thoughts.....

...my bare lady?

uh..uh...bridges falling down, falling down, falling down falling down falling down.....
uh...uh the sky is falling down, falling down, falling down, falling down
uh..uh...uh...bridges falling down falling down....my bare lady!!!

Jason learned a new song at nursery this week... we love it!

I blame his dad....

I walked into Jason's room to get him up for the day and he proudly shows me his arrangement of animals and HSM pillow. Really, he only has one sister but it is enough to bring out his "girly" side. (sigh) At least I have seen him take down Tyler, so I know he has it in him....

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was an amazing sister named Kay Kay. She was always kind to her little brothers. She loved to read to them almost as much as they loved to hear her read. The End :)

Christmas jammies

Every year my mom makes pajamas for all of the grand kids for Christmas. This year all the kids were here except 3 (1 newborn, 2 out of town) I always love getting together on Christmas Eve with our family. We feel so blessed to have family close by that we like to spend time with. :)

Someday I might blog about Christmas....we had a great one!

Build a fotrune.....I mean a Bear

Tyler got an Alvin, from yeah, the chipmunks. It has a cute sound that sings a song...love it!
Jason was a little scared of the blower....thank Heaven for Katelyn!
Jason loves the girls...
Baths for all the animals I will allow in my home.

Jason is filling up his horse. (which didn't make the pics I guess)
I only wish I thought of this! Luckily my boys like the animals more than accessories or it would have exceeded our gift cards.
Thanks to Aunt Cheryl (Brent's sis) for $100 in gift cards to Build a Bear! The kids had a blast. They got a little car too that fits the animals. It was a fun day.

so, what now?

Now that Christmas is over I guess it's time to focus on a new project. So, I am asking .....what do we do now? New Years Resolutions... have another baby (j/k lol) ....what do you suggest?

I love the beginning of a new year. It's like a fresh start and a way to put the past behind you. So, I am curious, what are your new year's resolutions, or do you even have any....and what should mine be?

Happy New Year! (maybe I should try setting a goal to get to bed at a decent hour?)

the Christmas program is over...

Today was the second part of the Christmas program that I have been obsessing about for months. Last week, Brent spoke about the Prophet Joseph Smith and another speaker spoke about the atonement. I wonder sometimes if my husband knew the prophet because his testimony is like none I have heard before. I love to hear him speak, he always does a great job. Also, we were lucky enough to have some of our family come to hear him too. I love that our families live close to us, especially around the holidays. It means a lot to me to have their support on the little things....thanks fam! I look forward to our Christmas traditions around Christmas Eve.
This week was my turn to speak a little. Also, the choir sang beautifully. When I was a kid, I dreaded the ward choir singing. Our choir is the best!!!
All-in-all, I was happy with the turn out and grateful for the many people who helped make it a great program.

Merry Christmas, my friends. I love you all and hope your holidays are happy and safe. :)

Things that make me happy...

One of my oldest friends had a post like this on her blog and it inspired me to make a happy list. Just so if I am feeling down I can remember a few things I am happy about.

1. It makes me happy to listen to really good music. When you are in the car and you hear all your favorite songs on the radio....isn't that the best?

2. It makes me happy to see my kids succeed. I love to see them proud of themselves. I even feel a little happy when they struggle to succeed. I see the amazing people they are becoming and I feel so proud.

3. It makes me happy to sit by my husband. I fall asleep next to him on the couch almost every night. He watches t.v. late sometimes and I don't like to go to bed without him.

4. It makes me happy (and a little proud of myself) when I let things go. I have struggled with anxiety all of my life and am learning the joy in being at peace with my short comings.

5. It makes me happy to talk on the phone. As a stay at home mom, I feel isolated sometimes and my phone is like a connection to the outside grown-up world. When I was a teenager, the only way my parents could punish me was to take away the phone...brutal.

6. Santa Clause makes me happy. I love the idea of him sneaking in to leave presents so no one can see him. The guy is the ultimate in unselfishness. I love all my Santa's in my Christmas box. When I buy one, I look at his eyes and face. Each one means something different to me. My dad was the best Santa. He was a great example of giving without being noticed, never keeping anyone on the naughty list and he even had a kin of ho-ho-ho laugh.

7. It makes me happy to think about my dad. He has been gone nearly 10 years now and I miss him. Right after he died, I got sad when I thought of him because I missed him so much it hurt. I am glad that now I am happy when I think of a funny thing about him or even some irritating quirk that I now notice in myself.

8. Diet coke makes me happy....(don't judge me) I know it is shallow but diet coke with lime is the best. (sigh)

9. It makes me happy when my family is all at home with nothing to do. I love to relax with them. Each of the kids are so different but they are all funny and fun to be around.

10. It makes me happy to watch Jared pitch. I am proud of his abilities and also the way he keeps his composure when he is down in the count.

11. It makes me happy to listen to Katelyn play the piano, she is talented and has come far in a short period of time.

12. It makes me happy to listen to Tyler talk about how he entertains his kindergarten class. Every day he has to think of something funny to make his friends laugh. Yesterday, after he finished his work he stood up and said, "sha-boom, I'm done!" That was all, but he makes his friends laugh. I apologize in advance to any primary teachers who will witness his act. :)

13. It makes me happy to listen to Jason. He learns new stuff each day....most of it naughty. I love the terrible two's. I had give him a little consequence the other day to which he replied, "that makes me so sad!" I had to leave because I was laughing.

14. It makes me happy to be Mrs. Brent Barton. He is so handsome and amazing! He is so smart, I am glad every day he is with me. I feel lucky to be with him.

15. It makes me happy to do hair. I love my job! My clients are my friends, I love to make them look and feel good about themselves.

16. It makes me happy to read the Book of Mormon. I have read it many, many times and love the message and peace I feel when I am close to the Spirit.

17. Lastly, bed time always makes me happy. I love the craziness of having four kids, and I love when they are worn out and go to sleep.

Finally, the Christmas tree is up

I love Christmas, I don't love putting up and taking down the tree. The kids did the ornaments, so I still have some "unclumping" to do. My favorite part of the evening was when I was so sick of ball ornaments that I decided to get artistic and throw them at the tree like little baseballs. It looked cute so I left them where they landed. BTW, I only broke one. Now onto the wrapping and to try to finish shopping. Fun, fun, fun!

I know it's over, but....

This was one of my favorite demotivator posters. I had to share. :)

It's official... Christmas time is here!!!

I LOVE Christmas! I especially love Santa Clause. How cool is he. He brings toys to good little girls and boys. I have NEVER known anyone on the naughty list which means he is very forgiving. He only comes when you are asleep so he won't be caught leaving gifts. He's a jolly old fellow.(Happy people rock!) Nobody cares if he's skinny and he eats loads of cookies.

I also love the opportunity to reflect on the birth of Christ and the significance of His life. The reminder each year to be a little kinder, to give a little more and be a little better. So, Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have a wonderful, safe holiday season.

Peace out....

Happy Thanksgiving!

I like Thanksgiving. Since both of our families live here, we take turns every other year with our family. This year is our Barton year. We don't get together with them often, but when we do it is always fun. Mostly I am glad that Brent gets a day off work. It seems like life is so busy anymore and all we do is go separate ways. So, I am thankful that on Thursday Brent and I will sleep in late and someone else will cook us dinner and our family will all have fun together. Hopefully with no injuries. That's all I want for Thanksgiving....and pie.

Monday morning at the DMV

For 8 months now I have been driving with an expired license. Why? You may ask....because I never legally changed my name 16 years ago when I got married. I told Brent that I wanted to see if things worked out first (ha ha) So I took Jared to get his learner's permit today and decided it was time to take the plunge. I called ahead to verify all the legal docs I needed so I was prepared. I step to the window to speak to a lovely DMV employee ( I mean stereo-typical DMV employee) to do my 'thang'. She informs me that I must have brought in the necessary info because my name was already changed, I explained the letter I received informing me I could not renew by mail because of the discrepancy. She seemed confused and told me I could renew without the docs I brought. (good thing I hunted down my marriage license) I didn't argue because all I wanted was a new license. I filled out the paper work and paid my money and was on my way in no time. The lady was not nice. I don't know why, I was nice. Sometimes, when someone is rude to me it is a like a game for me to try to win them over by being even nicer....It didn't work. Jared was at the next window....his lady was nice.... Either way, we are both legal to drive now. Jared took the written test and I will admit that if I had to take it I may not have passed. Now I get to go back to the Social Security Dept. and change my SS card....maybe next Monday.

The moral of the story, Be nice. My dad always said, " You can catch more flies with honey". Who wants flies? Oh wait...

A happy post

I'll admit it...I vented a little yesterday, so today, a happy post.

I was listening to my (Jared's) ipod a few nights ago. I had a couple of songs on repeat. In bloom by Brother Nirvana and Land of Confusion by the Brothers Disturbia when all of the sudden the sacrament Christmas program started coming to me. It has actually morphed into two meeting. So I had a lot of time to cover. But I am excited because I have a good rough draft now and can work on finishing it. Don't you think music is so inspirational? I do....


...this is the world we live in ( wa-oooo) and these are the hands we're given ( wa-ohhhh) use them and lets start trying (wa-ooooh) to make this a place worth living in. :)